It's so often that as a 21-year-old woman, living in the modern-day mess we call the United States I am told, “You just need to love yourself.” It’s actually the answer to any dilemma you may face as a female in our society. “I don’t like the way my hair looks today." You need to love yourself. “I’m having relationship troubles.” You need to love yourself. “I’m just not quite feeling myself lately.” You need to love yourself! It’s absurd how women are constantly being told how we should act and think but loving yourself can be way too terribly personal! Be happy, enjoy life and LOVE YOURSELF!!! But what does that really mean? The phrase is so quick to slip the lips of those who cast judgement, yet do they know if they even have that love for themselves? We are all so readily prepared to instruct woman to stop being so insecure and to simply love themselves, but it’s not such a black and white issue. Loving yourself isn’t loving your appearance every day, it's not always being able to appreciate the life you're living and it's certainly not even always appreciating the person you are. Truly loving yourself is a struggle everyone goes through to vastly varying extents. All humans crave love and affection, almost as greatly as food, water and shelter. Why do we need to look for that admiration through the eyes of one another? Why is it so hard now a days to reach that place? Is it in view of the fact that social media is poisoning our minds with diluted interpretations of what our bodies should look like and what our lives should be like? Maybe. Is it because of this miserable, never-ending pandemic that’s trapping us all in our houses like prisoners and forcing us to blow our stimulus checks on sweats and pizza rolls? Quite possibly. Truthfully, despite how it may seem, I actually don’t think the world is doomed and I don’t think all hope is lost. The truth is, to love yourself despite the outside forces affecting your life, first you have to get to know yourself, then you have to learn to enjoy your own company. So many people live their entire lives struggling to love the person they are before even taking the time to get to know that person. In order to achieve true blissful happiness, we must listen to our bodies, minds and souls.
The first step to loving yourself is getting to know who you really are. Getting to know how and why you act and think the way you do will help you understand crucial elements of yourself identity such as coping skills, how to understand and control your reactions to certain issues, and how to treat yourself to some joyousness and growth. Take a moment of silence to look at yourself through the mirror and really reintroduce yourself. What gets your blood pumping in exhilarating excitement? What makes your heart melt in admiration? When, where and how do you feel the most at home and comfortable in your own skin? I know this may seem overwhelming, so maybe start by taking a personal assessment quiz! A splendid way to identify your personality type is by taking a self-assessment quiz. One quiz I enjoyed, The VALS assessment quiz , can be described as, “a proprietary psychometric method that measures these and other predictive attitudes—in conjunction with behaviors and demographics,” Upon taking this quiz myself, I learned I am primarily an experiencer and am secondarily an innovator. I used this information to determine I for one, like most caught between the Millennials and Get Zs, crave fascinating visual stimulation, while also being future oriented and confident enough to try out new things! This information can help me determine what types of people, places and hobbies might invoke my passions, calm my nerves and simply fill me with joy. A different type of self assessment you may also want to dabble into is looking into your horoscope! Your horoscope not only tells you who you are as a person, but also divulges into different areas of your emotions such as the way you love, the way you get enraged, and how you go about achieving your aspirations in life. Co-star is an astrological app that provides you your entire birth chart based on your birthday, birth year, time of birth and place of birth. Is this not your slice of cake? If these evaluations aren’t giving you your desired information, sometimes the best way to get to know yourself can be to sit in silence and meditate. Sit with yourself quietly and listen to what your soul is trying to tell you. I enjoy using energy crystals when meditating because it helps me open up my chakras and feel calm. Mediation is a great way to get to know you while also finding a sense of inner peace. Getting to know who you truly are might take some serious time and determination, but it will surely get you to a happier, healthier you.
Now that you and your soul have become well acquainted, it's time to actually spend time with the real you! Loneliness and longing for someone to sweep you up off your feet will no longer be concerns for you as you learn to appreciate and cherish the time you have alone with yourself! Now I know, I know, how boring, right? WRONG! When you learn to cherish the time you have with yourself, you will open a whole new door of self-fulfillment! Indulge yourself in your passions and get creative whether that might mean painting a masterpiece of magnificence, running a marathon around your middle-class suburban community, or bingeing your favorite teen drama comedy for the 7th time. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is something you can absolutely indulge and enjoy yourself in. Think of yourself as your own best friend, after all, you are the only person who will absolutely, positively be there for you at the end of every day.
Now for what seems like the hardest step, loving you. Well, if you really took the time to dive deep in my previously explained tasks, this isn’t so hard at all. Loving yourself means you will always support the person your soul wishes to become and encourage him/her even through your bad days. It means taking the extra time to care for yourself. The more time you devote to truly caring for yourself, as if you would a lover, the easier it will be to face the lemons life might chuck at you and make some awesome lemonade. For me, this means in my moments of solitude, I like to enjoy a steaming cup of chai-vanilla tea, throw on a ravishing rose gel face mask, melt into a bubbling vanilla bath and meditate. For you this might mean hiking or dancing or really anything that brings you to a place of inner bliss.
I know this may seem all peaches and cream, but the journey to love yourself is a long, strenuous path with many obstacles facing your way. You will have days where you convince yourself you are a gruesomely, hideous monster, who needs to be sheltered from society, and there will be days where you will want to scream your overloaded head off out of stress. However, the feeling of having the truest, most everlasting love with you everywhere you go will get you through. Self love is real love and it needs to be developed thoroughly overtime. #selflove #selfcare #meditate #crystals #growth #love #selfgrowth #selfacceptance
Work Cited
Vals: About vals: Sbi. http://www.strategicbusinessinsights.com/vals/about.shtml.
